The Infamous Stove

This is the infamous wood stove.  I guess Ray would use it in the winter when the weather got really cold.  I don 't know if he used it because his central heating system couldn't keep up with the cold or if he just wanted to save money or loved having a wood stove.  I hope it is not because he needed to use it because I don't want to mess with the work of a wood stove.  Logs should just stay outside and not expect anyone to carry them from there to here.

But here is the problem.  When Mom wakes up in the morning her body temp is very low and she is cold. She needs to build a fire in the wood stove to warm up the house.  She opens the door, bends over and looks inside to see what she can do.  There are ashes in there and she thinks maybe they need to be taken out.  She needs a bucket.  She tells me we need to get paper, wood, and coal to burn in it.  Bear in mind the temperature in the house is 72 degrees.

I can't divert her.  The house is freezing and she needs to warm us all up rather than to put on a sweater.  No, she does not want to sit with a blanket on her lap because the house is cold and she has to fix it.  No, she won't sit in the heated chair. Do I think she is going to sit there ALL DAY to try and stay warm?  No, the warm 72 degree house needs to be warmed up before we all freeze.

This morning she came up with a new idea.  We needed to turn on all the lights in the house in order to heat it.  Since we couldn't build a fire in the wood stove then all the heat from all the lightbulbs might help.  This from a woman who goes around turning off lights and insisting we all sit in the dark.  If she goes to bed before we do she will come out an extra time to remind us we need to turn off the lights when we go to bed.  Since I like lots of light I can get behind that idea.

Mom and Ice Cream

Here is Mom eating her pumpkin bread pudding and ice cream.  We keep ice cream in the house for her because Susie and Liz both said she liked it right before bedtime.  We have gone through a couple of gallons of ice cream in the last month.  This is Mom's second time in the month to have ice cream.  Yup, she was not the one who ate the gallons of ice cream.

The pumpkin bread pudding was wonderful and very easy to make.  It is great hot with ice cream but it moist enough to eat cold.  I was going to give you the recipe but I can't find a link to it online.  I guess the recipe will have to remain a secret.

Circular Arguments

If I am not careful I get into circular arguments with Mom.  For example:

Me: "Mom, you are going to go and visit Mark and Liz* this weekend."

Mom: "Why do I have to go there?"

Me: "Floyd and I are going to be away and we don't want you to be lonely."

Mom: "You are going to be away?  Where will I be?"

Me:  "Mom, you are going to go and visit Mark and Liz this weekend."

Mom: "Why do I have to go there?"

And so it goes.  I go through that loop about 3 times before I realize I could repeat it all day.

*Nothing against Mark and Liz; They love having her visit and Mom has a wonderful time there.  That is not the problem.  Mom's memory or lack of one is the problem.  She tries to understand but it just eludes her.

Where's Waldo?

Let's play Where's Waldo but play it with specks on the floor.  Can you find them?

One of Mom's obsessions is little bits of nothing on the floor.  When she finds one she bends down without her cane, licks her finger to make it sticky, then picks up the dust mote and puts it in her other hand while she totters around the floor picking up other dust motes.  When her hand is full of bits of

nothing then she wants to put them in the trash can but can't get there without her cane which she has left on the other side of the floor.

Dust motes will distract her on the way to the bathroom, bedroom for naps or to sleep the night, and to meals.  I especially need patience when she does it on the way to dinner because then she has to wash her hands, and she will probably be distracted again before she makes it to the table.

Being able to see these tiny flecks of nothing is a new thing Mom has taught me.  I now see them everywhere.  For everyone I pick up I see two more. Kinda like the hairs on my chin. 

If I don't pick up the petite particles then Mom will be stressed about them.  I have tried hard to be a good daughter but after a couple of weeks of picking them up to make Mom happy, I have started kicking them under the furniture.  What Mom can't see won't bother her.

Non Stop Crying

Wednesday I cried 4 times.  Thursday I couldn't stop.  It isn't just answering the same question 100 times a day or Mom being disturbed by my things in her house.  It is retiring and moving too.

I retired and my health insurance changed.  I need to get that all figured before I can find a new pharmacy and get my prescriptions refilled.  And I need to find some new doctors who can give me more refills.

And it is my phone.  It worked just fine in Maine but even when I have bars it breaks up when I try to talk to people.  We decided not to get a landline here so I have no way of calling doctors and pharmacies or my sister when I am at the end of my rope.

And it is not having any friends here.  I have family and they help a lot but sometimes I whine too much to them.  I need friends here so I can share the whining and maybe they will give me a break.

And it is living in a dark house with ugly wallpaper and a shower that can't be angled well and having to unpack and not being able to find stuff or figure out where to put stuff.  I gave a lot to Goodwill before I packed but as I am unpacking and can't figure out where to put things more stuff is going to Goodwill.  And it is deciding how much of my stuff I want to put in the house and explain to my Mom repeatedly.

It is just all of it and more.

I am now self-medicating with extra Prozac to counteract the stress , doing extra praying for a return to good mental health, and accepting help from family.  It will get better.

What do people with dementia pray for?

I won't post a picture of Mom praying since it is a sacred time for her but she prays on her knees every night.  She's 92, walks with a cane, and kneels for prayers every night.  What a lesson for me who finds excuses not to kneel when I pray.  I have to remind myself that Christ died for me so the least I can do is kneel for him.

With Mom's dementia I wonder what she prays for?  I spend lots of time in my prayers telling God what I want and suggesting ways He can do a better  job.  I bet Mom spends her time in gratitude.

Indy Highland Scottish Games

Last Saturday we went to the Highland Scottish Games and Festival.  We debated because the temps probably never got warmer than 60 and we were worried Mom might get cold.  We decided to go but really bundled Mom.

These were my first games but Mom and her husband Ray went many years.  Mom doesn't remember those games but she had a wonderful time this year.  Mom was introduced at the court of the Scottish Queen.  Here is the picture of the woman, I can't remember her title, who introduced us to the court.

We stayed for the binding ceremony for a couple by the Scottish Queen in her Court.  Later when we went back around that way the court was playing a very large game of Jinga.